Well. My brain is filled with neurons firing at synapses. (or is it the other way around?) Every thought I have seems to form into an idea, but just before it does, it vanishes and is replaced by another not-yet-fully conceived-idea.
When I was a child, I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD. In sixth, and half of seventh grade, I was failing my classes. Math especially. I had (and still have) a very hard time focusing on anything.
Sometimes I look at people who are very smart, have good philosophical knowledge, have huge vocabularies, nice degrees, good social skills and otherwise a good way about them and I become jealous. I compare myself to them and it really hurts my feelings. (I wish I could have been there to hear your -whole- sermon, Rob. I'll listen to it in full on the podcast.) I know I have some good qualities about myself but when compared to other people (the kind of people i would like to be) i seem to fall short. I want to have deep conversations with people. I want to be able to quote great philosophers while using big fancy words, or small difficult words. I know what you are thinking... your asking, "Then why Will? Why did you ever drop out of college?" I hate that question.
A few years ago, I told a doctor about my shyness, and my anxiety in social situations. I told him about how nervous I get when I am around people. (yes, I am always nervous when I am around you.) His response was, "Perhaps you were misdiagnosed as a child. Perhaps you do not have ADD, but in fact have General or Social Anxiety. It could reflect in your studies as well." Well, he said it in a more professional, doctorly way, but you get the idea.
Well anyway. What was I talking about?
Sorry this post is long and doesn't make much sense. I have ADD remember? ...or was it that other thing...
p.s.
Sometimes i think i am just incredibly lazy. (duh.) And sometimes I think that I am two people. One of me is bad and the other is good, but the good one is lazy and the bad one isn't. I wish the bad one was lazy so he would be to sleepy to rear his ugly head.
7 comments:
A lot of times I don't like those people who use the difficult words and names of philosophers because I think they're snobs. And I feel that with you I can talk about deep philosophical things more so than with almost anyone.
It's funny how the hardest thing is to like oneself. Which is really silly, because a lot of people like you, a lot of people love you, but it's a whole other thing to like and love oneself. I, for one, think you're awesome.
I think more learn from you than you realize. Trust me. Going to college or not going doesn't reflect on one's intellect. And you're very deep. I've learned much from you Will. I'm not trying to be creepy either, I'm just serious. So don't get down. People are lookin up to ya
We so compare our weaknesses to everybody else's strengths. And living behind our eyes we know our worst selves.
You are so honest.
That is one of the many great things about you.
I could list your good qualities - wisdom, talent, winsome personality, --- on and on- and on and on--
I am so a fan of yours.
And you DID go to college!
(oh, did you remember that you scored the highest of anybody EVER on that Jones' Center college entrance exam? And on your worst score (math) you scored AVERAGE!
And college schmollege ---
it may come someday.
You march to a different drummer,
and I'm glad.
and
I think you're wonderful.
I could say something encouraging, but I'm not very good at that.
I like talking to you more than I like talking to anyone I've ever known.
You are my favorite.
And I love you so very much.
all I can say
is that I know so many people that are incredibly smart and deep thinking and talented
that have never finished, or even gone to, college.
and you are most definitely one of those people.
what the heck?! you blog?! haha
if you haven't discovered it already, you should discover daytrotter.com
Post a Comment